Your child has been taken by their parent. You are angry, upset, worried and confused as to what to do next. You call the police. They tell you...

"Unless you have a legal custody order, we cannot help you".

You explain to the officer that you do have a custody order and after several days, the police register your child as missing and enter your child into NCIC ( National Crime Information Center). You ask the officer...

"I think my child may have been taken out of the country".

The officer looks at you and says, "We don't look for them", and refers you to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. You call the toll free number for NCMEC. You remember seeing their posters of missing kids at Wal-mart. You remember seeing their name plastered everywhere. You are hopeful that your child will soon be found and be in your arms again. You get someone on the other end of the phone and explain your situation. They tell you...

"We'll send you forms to register your child".

You ask...

"When will you start searching for my child"?

There is a second of silence on the other end of the line. The case worker does not tell you that the NCMEC does not look for kids.

"We can send posters out for your child. We can send you a booklet about international child abduction. If you think your child has been taken out of the country, call the State Department, Office of Children's Issues". You hang up and call OCI.

Again you are asked to fill out registration forms. The caseworker asks...

"What country do you think your child has been taken to"?

"Spain".

The case worker quickly and without emotion delivers a line that sounds as if she has done it a hundred times before.

"You will need to make a Hague Application. We can send you a booklet with information on international child abduction."

"Huh?"

"Download the forms from the Internet at our website, fill them out and return them to us".

"Okay, but when will you be getting my child back"?

" "We don't go get children", the caseworker explains.

"Someone told me to ask for a federal warrant for the arrest of the abductor, will you do that"?

"No.You have to ask the FBI. Since your child may be in a Hague country, we do not encourage the use of criminal law."

"Huh"?

You fill out the Hague Application and return it to OCI.

You need to retain a lawyer in Spain.

"If you do not have an address for the abducting parent, the papers cannot be served and the Hague Application cannot move forward". The OCI caseworker explains.

"Huh"?

Six months has passed since you have called police. You have done everything right. Finally the abductor is served and a Hague hearing takes place a year later. The Hague judge says

"Since the child has been in Spain for more than 6 months, we will not return the child to the USA."

"What!"

You have no access to your child and no legal mechanism to guarantee it. You are in debt. You are no closer now than when your nightmare started....

You join the ever growing number of parents that have voiced outrage at a system funded by your tax dollars, but cannot help you. You send nasty letters to OCI. You call your Congressman. You are going to change the system. You refused to be ignored. You are not going down without a fight. This is your child too. Before you know it, you are spending all your time trying to get someone---anyone to listen to you and help you find your child. But the only ones listening to you are the huge numbers of other parents that are in the same boat. You decide to launch a huge protest over the state of affairs...

The message is clear, "Shut up and Sit down". The same folks that you sent all those registration forms too..the same agencies that failed to find your child or protect your parental rights.....the same agencies that had you working for more than 18 months doing paperwork , hiring foreign lawyers and going deep in debt now seems more like adversaries than allies.

If this did not happen to you....then you are in the minority, and lucky.